Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Springtime and new beginnings

Okay, so here, apparently, is the thing?.... I want to write. But it is all happening so faaaaaast. So I think I will wait until I have time to write? But then zoooom it all happens so faaaaast.  And weeks go by.

So I'm gonna do some catching up.  Not literary genius.  Just writing.  To friends.  Who wanna know.  And who love us, and support us, and wow, I couldn't live without ya'll!! smiley face!! (are you allowed to put a smiley face in a blog?!  Hey, wait! That is exactly the thinking that stops me from writing in the first place! It is MY blog!  I can put smiley faces, or write the words "smiley faces," as often as I like!  And now I'm deciding, in this fit of enthusiasm, that if I ever publish a book (giggle, laugh, sigh), I will demand unlimited use of smiley faces! :-)  (um, yeah, cuz that's how the publishing world works, Liz, you get to demand stuff, before you've even written a word?!  Yes, that's my next goal. Write a word.)

It is the first day of Spring!!!!

The birds are singing!

Spring is springing!

Listening to my 7 yr old in bathtub singing some random song of her own creation.  While birds singing.  In my yard.  The yard filled with trees.  While my Black Lab lays by my side.  I deep sigh.  Soaking it all in.  

I think we are feeling more settled.  If I sound vague, it is because it is like sedimentary silt, like in the bottom of a pond, it feels uncertain, it can be changed and stirred up at any time.  I know it is all "a process."  I know it will take "a long time."  People keep telling me it will take a "long" time.  How long is a long time? 

Aidan talks about a girl at his school that he is now friends with.  She "doesn't have any friends, just like me."  Oy.  That is hard for a mom to hear.  Although of course it is normal.  I guess. I can't know "normal" is because, although I changed schools myself, I haven't been a parent of a school age child who moved to new school in a new state before.

I will do all I can to help them make new friends, friends to play with, friends to make it feel more "normal" to be here, in this new place, in this new home, in this new life.  I have class lists with home phone numbers, and will set up playdates.  We have signed them up for baseball and softball.  (At Ashley's age it was called teenerball in our old town.  Sigh.  Tired sigh.  So many changes.  So much different.  It tires the brain.  It tires me to even list it all.  Hence the not writing blog posts. Tiredness equals not writing.  'Cuz then I might just write "It's hard. They're sad. I'm tired.")

The hard-ness, the difficulty, the sadness for my heart for my children, probably reached its peak when Aidan said to me "I wish it were all a dream."  The move.  So, like in a dream, he could wake up from it, and it would never have happened.

Oh.  My.  Goodness. 

That was a hard thing for a mom to hear.

But, like all pioneers, we keep on truckin'.  (yes, I am mixing Laura Ingalls Wilder and the 1970s anaologies there.  This represents my childhood era.)

Ashley came upon a new type of flower blooming in our yard yesterday morning, and ran full speed into house to tell me.  We looked at those blooms, and all the other green shoots awaiting display of what type they are, and she exclaimed "I love this house!"

Well, that's a start.

This is the new flower Ashley saw in our yard,
and then ran to tell me!

We are (im)patiently
waiting to see what these will be?
(and I must remove all the sticks, etc, on top of them!)

The Day Before The First Day of Spring!
Just before this photo
she had exclaimed
"I love this house!"

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